i quit

i have momentarily (although quite possibly permanently) quit on the one poem a day for a month thing. sorry, i just can't. maybe some will pop up here, just not gonna commit to anything, never liked commitment anyway.
so i'll just go back to blogging, i like that much better :)

guess who just had their first day of their senior year?! this kid! it's so weird, i'm almost there, 179 more days, and i'll be done. Done. Me, that tiny little kindergartener, looking up at the bus driver with eyes as big as africa, stretching my little legs up the huge steps, terrified to go to school. absolutely terrified.
now, i'm almost (and i said ALMOST) terrified to leave. Well, not necessarily to leave, but to have to go out there, alone, by myself, make choices that will, without question, impact my life forever. I've never had to do that before. From grades K-12 everything was planned out for me, I got to pick a few classes as I got older, pick some clubs, blah blah blah. Now, I have to decide on a college, pay for it, decide on a major, a job, all this stuff I have to do myself. Could I do it? Yeah, probably. But it's scary, I don't want to make the wrong choice.
It's ok to be scared of making choices i've realized, but it's not ok to not make them. I will take risks, and sometimes I'll fall flat on my face, and other times it'll be the best thing I ever did. I will make stupid and genius choices. But I won't know anything, anything, until I just close my eyes, and jump.
So here's to me, jumping :)

Cuz we never win

We  (Do)n't need your help
We (don't) have it all under control
It's (not) just a little rough right now.
It'll all be fine (I hope)
We're used to it (unfortunately)
We never (ever) win.
Prayers (don't) help
At least they (don't) seem to.
Thanks, (but no thanks).
Screw everybody.

not us

i'm
so
stupid
i torture myself
by watching them
fall in love
them
not us
them
she's beautiful
she's smart
she's funny
i'm invisible
i'm unknown
i'm creepy
i'm not her
them
not us
them
i'm a idiot
i can't shut my eyes
and turn my head
i just sit there
and watch
watch them
them
not us
them
them
with their cute little words
and cozy little memories
them, their's
not us, our's
forget
ignore and forget......
ignore them
forget them
forget the dream
that was us





oh, and i decided that i'm not going to write a poem everyday. cuz writing 3 in one entry is too much for my 17 year old burnt out brain. so, i'll just keep writing until there is a month's worth :)

te he :) i'm late again

i'm feeling very creatively challenged today....and i have to leave in a little over an hour so, don't expect this to be pablo neruda material ok?

today's :)

Just One

fall in love with the lights
confidently take the first step
listen carefully to the claps
they're all here to see us
to see what we can do
give them everything
every drop of sweat
every shaken tear
we deserve this
the crowd deserves this
we've been trained
we've been cleaned
we know exactly what to do
they only thing left
is to do it
just one time
just one chance
just one opportunity
and that's all we need


yesterday's :)

here's my little ode to Jonathon Larson. Ya know, the guy who the wrote the award winning Broadway show Rent? Yeah, kinda my favorite musical :) Sorta obsessed....anywho....

Living on shreds of hope
Always staying true
Reviving lives and dreams
Straining to hold on
Opening up old dusty windows
Never giving up

two a days :)

mondays :)

Sing to Me

sing me to sleep
with my head on your chest
sing me to sleep
even if your voice cracks
close your blue eyes
and sing to me
if the fire dies
and the music fades
sing to me


tuesdays :)

Memories

We dance across my memory
in our clashing colors
and dirty socks
No cares
just laughs
We climbed trees
and stayed up there
Our imaginations ran wild
and our hearts ran faster
I miss when everything was so big
When nothing made sense
and it didn't matter anyway
Girl scout patches
Guiltless cookie nibbles
Wind blown hair
and no one to impress
Wholesome tv shows
Letting that first kuss word slip
on purpose
Toothless grin
Yes, we dance across my memory
Oh, how we danced
Never knowing that the people
we couldn't wait to grow up to be
would look back at those dirty kids
and long to be them all over again
But they are, and always will remain
memories